6 Tips for Speaking Up

One of the hardest things for us introverts to manage is how to share the chatting in our head with those around us. We commonly observe, compare, judge, and wish we could voice our thoughts. But so often we don’t. We are hording golden nuggets.


We don’t want to offend, and often more importantly, we don’t want to embarrass ourselves or those we are with by saying our gems the wrong way. Yet when we feel someone is slighted, if we observe someone stepping out of bounds or we wish to be able to support someone in anxiety, the common question we experience is, how do we without creating discomfort?

Here are a few suggestions:

1. We usually make it worse in our head than it will be.

2. Take time to think – this is what introverts are good at – before speaking.

3. Preface your comment with your best intentions “I don’t want to be rude, but wish to respect your feelings.”

4. Word your comment by focusing on impact of their actions. “You probably don’t realize your voice is loud. I just want you to know I have difficulty thinking when you’re talking to your friends at this volume.”

5. Keep in mind it’s much kinder for the introvert to speak up to share feedback than someone who is not thinking first.

6. The sooner you do it after providing thoughtful consideration to these steps, the less tension and better results you will have.

There is a wealth of conversation going on inside our introvert heads. Much of it is golden nuggets. Share the wealth. Speak up.

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On April 6th, 2012, posted in: introvert, public speaking by