Merri’s Tips – Part 6

40. Shape the voice in your head first thing in the morning. Otherwise, you will wine about getting out of bed, forget what you’re so good at, procrastinate on using your abilities and forget why your life is so good. Shaping the voice in your head refers to remembering your value, what makes you unique and putting this focus and those skills into use. These are your intrapersonal skills, the communication skills that set the tone for the day and determine your ability to show up in life.

 Lawyers can use praise, encouragment as well as discipline, yet if they aren’t willing to do these things for themselves, no amount of it from others will help.


41. Discover the value of the folks around you. Sometimes we get caught up in the importance of our own focus, much to the discomfort of others. Take a moment to watch what someone does or how they do it and then remark about it to them. It takes 10-30 seconds, if that. It’s not charming or manipulating so much as admirable. Yet, if the voice in your head tells you otherwise, and you really don’t value the individual, adjust the voice in your head. We are much more transparent than we care to know.

Once folks around you notice you observing their value, they take interest in your own. This is when you begin to see your interpersonal skills developing.

42. Get into practice speaking up. Whether you’re looking to become a public speaker or not, your ease of being a lawyer is amplified the more expressive you become. Will you say everything right? No. It’s okay. You’re human. One great thing about communicating is, unless a person has just died, you can always pick up the conversation again. Make an effort to be curious, humble and enthusiastic – perhaps at different times. You will attract and develop trust. You will build confidence in offering compliments, constructive criticism as well as handling difficult conversations. That’s at the core of any lawyer’s work.

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