Self-Talk – Use it or Lose it!

Not long ago I had coffee with a client who said, “I spend so much time focusing on where I fall short that I forget about my strengths.”

The voice in this gentleman’s head, while reminding him of his problems, gave him no internal support. His coaching mechanism was nonexistant. Although it could remind him of opportunities in improvement, and then point him in the direction of future development, he instead became so defeated that he lost motivation and hope. Instead, the voice in his head contributed to his downward spiral.

I understand the internal voice’s power. Yet unlike my client, I have experienced the refreshing surge of purpose. What’s the difference between what the two of us is experiencing?

He had no system to rely on when he was feeling low. I do.

Don’t get me wrong – I have frequently fallen into the same pattern as my client above describes. Never feeling good enough, wishing I was better, smarter, faster and more capable.

What changed for me?

In time, and because of the wise support of others, I learned to no longer play victim, but to own my own path through effective self-talk.

When my internal voice gives me defeatest thinking, now my self-coaching system generates profitable, useful and motivating action. I meet daily circumstances with relaxed, focused spirit when I use my self-talk system. And because I have moved from sub-standard attitudes to confidence, I enjoy helping others who are motivated to make the same changes.

Fortunately, this has helped my clients. Like others, the one above now has a system for self-talk that enables him to celebrate and use his strengths. Simply because he was willing to get coaching that gives him a structure to coach himself.

When he needs self-management to organize and plan his time, leadership skills in supporting his team with accountability and problem-solving, or whether he’s facing personal anxieties when addressing an audience, now my client can operate without “losing it”.

His self-talk system allows him to feel purposeful. During anxiety-producing moments, he now centers himself, recalls things that refocus his negative voice to positive self-talk. And he meets challenge head on.

Self-talk isn’t the crazy person’s attribute.  It’s quite the opposite. It’s the pattern for using our gifts. Use it or lose it!

Share Button