Tips to being Purposeful, not Selfish

Those times you feel anxiety, what generally happens?

Do you say to yourself, “Gee, here’s a chance to step out of my comfort zone to be purposeful! I’m sure it will work.” or do you say to yourself, “Nope, not going there. Why bother? It’s much too uncomfortable.”

If you’re like most of us, you defer to the latter. The selfish zone. Sure, there are many times when saying yes to people doesn’t make sense. But quite often it does. If someone asks you to be the one to handle a difficult conversation, or for assistance with a time-consuming task, or even to speak at an event, that selfish zone builds barriers to your responding with purpose. Instead it has you ducking away from the person looking at you, pretending not to see the email request or escaping an event before someone tags you on the shoulder.

Where does this selfish response come from?

Here are multiple times the selfish mindset kicks into gear creating habits that strip us of our purpose:

  1. when the alarm goes off
  2. when someone looks at us the wrong way
  3. when someone’s tone of voice jars us
  4. when we notice we haven’t lived up to our word
  5. when we think we aren’t good enough

Once we second-guess ourselves, anything and everything can strip us of our purpose. Starting with getting out of bed.

Those of us who have suffered health issues, employment issues, sales or ability issues quickly forget our value. We create mindset patterns of self-doubt that lead to habits of distraction. We raid the fridge instead of picking up the phone. We spend time on social media instead of reaching out to actively connect. It’s our mindset of self-doubt that strips us of our value. Instead of remembering who we are and why we are valuable, we let little things hijack us. Like the anxiety-filled items above.

These habits help us forget our purpose.

Get your purpose back

So ask yourself, “Why am I here?”

It may seem like a geographic question of why are you literally where you are. Like, why am I in this bed? If so, answer it. Be real. It’s not to get and stay comfortable. It’s to sleep. So when you go to bed at night, put your phone and ipad somewhere else.

But then go deeper. Why do I need to get sleep? In other words, what am I getting ready for? Why am I here? If the answer is about being a parent, then answer it. Be real. It’s not about getting and staying comfortable. It’s about care-taking, about getting refreshed enough to do the important work.

And then go deeper. How do you accomplish this? Your current job or career gives you the means to be purposeful. To not only look out for yourself but to look out for others – friends, family, community, co-workers, whomever it is.

Use comfort zones to get refreshed

There’s no comfort zone tied to service. Only to refreshing ourselves to offer it. Get the sleep, get refueled, get what you need for yourself to feel capable, motivated and refreshed. Then get out of your own way. Shift from selfishness to purpose.

Shift from selfishness to purpose

With your mindset in tact, boldness takes over. Your job is not to avoid, is not to escape, it’s purposeful. It’s to do the work necessary that leads you to your greater purpose.

Not a parent? Don’t use this excuse. There are others who are counting on you. Get in practice with getting the job done. Shift from selfishness to purpose and watch your habits of feeling not good enough, not accountable or avoiding conflict get broken down. It’s amazing how good you’ll feel and how much better you’ll sleep!

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On February 8th, 2016, posted in: accountability, action, anxiety, clarity by