What if you heard this…

So you’re being diligent within your career. You’ve committed years of your time, your focus and your energy to a particular field of study and set of talents. You burn the candle at both ends. And part of what has given you the successful edge is your willingness to ask for feedback.

You check in as you position yourself for a sale. You check in thoroughly before taking on a new project. You debrief after projects are completed and you continually seek feedback from peers on best practices.

You are a visionary, strategizing toward your end result with plausible goals, taking steps to achieve them. And you are ready to reach for that next level. So you ask a key question of those you’re serving:

What can I do better?

Answers cater to the insignificant yet customer-centered tweaking common to many service providers. And then comes another:

If there is one thing I would suggest, it is to be more businesslike.What followed was an assortment of examples, many solid and logical.

What would you do if you heard this?

Like most of us, you may first consider the source and then determine the appropriateness of the comment. Secondly you may question the meaning of the word “business-like” and compare it to the frame of reference of the source. And then you may even give thought to the ways becoming more “business-like” can enhance your value for others.

All emotions aside, you asked for feedback and this is what you got. Feedback, that source of information that without asking for you may not have heard, is some of the most important pieces of information we use to grow by.

Hopefully what you do next is become more businesslike.

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On June 17th, 2010, posted in: confidence, discipline, Self Value by
One Response to What if you heard this…
  1. I hate conflict too! 🙂 It’s alayws been very hard for me to deal with. I often find that phone calls to handle conflict are worse than duking it out in person. I don’t like talking on the phone anyway, so maybe that’s part of the problem. We moved a lot when I grew up and I pretty much just avoided conflict because hey, in a couple of years I was going to be gone anyway (or the other person would move before then — people were very transient where we were overseas).But I realized that it really hindered my ability to make deep friendships because sooner or later, ALL relationships experience conflict. Avoiding it or pretending it didn’t happen meant that many times, the relationship couldn’t get much deeper because even if the other person didn’t act any different, I knew in the back of my mind that all was not well.So I made a choice to deal with things as they came up. It has really been freeing. Of course, not all conflicts end well. Sometimes the person and I don’t ever really come to the same mind. But that’s okay. My goal is not that everything get back to normal, but that I am able to do what I need to do in order to free free and not have the conflict lurking in my mind.I have gotten a lot better about voicing to people when I have been hurt by their words or actions. It’s very hard, and I applaud you for being honest about it! That’s great. And I loved the part you wrote about your husband feeling protective of you. What a great guy. I’m wondering if you almost took too much responsibility for the situation by immediately apologizing. Yes, perhaps your response contributed, but it certainly sounds like the other couple didn’t communicate well at all in the first place.It’s too bad they didn’t apologize for the way they communicated. Even if they felt they weren’t in the wrong, I think loving relationships are willing to consider the fact that perception is everything. They may not have perceived that they did anything wrong, but your perception was that the email was brusque and hurtful. My opinion is that they should have cared enough about YOU to apologize for communicating in a way that hurt you. I hope that makes sense. For instance, I might say something to my husband that doesn’t seem hurtful to me. But if it does hurt him, I need to own up to that. I can say I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I think I also should apologize for huting him.Anyway, this is very long and rambling, but it is something that I have struggled with so much in my life! I think you handled it very well and did the best you could. But don’t feel bad about being honest when people hurt you. I think your friends should have acknowledged that their communication hurt you and at least owned up to that!

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