Who are we, really?

In a conversation with a new business acquaintance he shifted from his sharing details about his company’s paper solutions to his concern with his own selling confidence. This led him to ask,

Who are we, really?

He wants to be confident, he wants to be clear and yet much of the time, he confesses, he  would rather crawl under a rock than face one more person who has the chance to tell him NO.

Whether we are in sales, with clients or with our loved ones, there are times we question who we are and what we are doing.  We know we are compassionate, intelligent and fun. Yet we think we are to come across some way other than who we are to accomplish what is expected. This causes us to spiral down into low self-esteem, questioning our abilities.

As my new acquaintance stated, “when we think we need to be something other than who we are, we fail.”

So let’s remember who we are.

In response, I told my companion about a routine I practice prior to giving a presentation.

As a member of a band who sings original music, I keep recordings on cd in my car to continually practice. One cd in particular has a terrific collection of 4 songs: one that makes me cry, one that gets my heart pumping, one that makes me laugh and another that grounds me into focus. All together this cd is about 18 minutes long. The 18 minutes I spend singing along to the music does more than warm up my voice. It mentally runs me through all of the mental states that help remind me of who I am.

  • I am vulnerable and need to be open to others
  • I am enthusiastic and can motivate
  • I have fun and enjoy helping others have fun
  • I find meaning in serious study and want others to get meaning out of our conversations

Before I practiced this routine, I often did ineffective quick shifts from feeling inadequate to focusing on the positive. But something was missing. I didn’t feel whole. Therefore I showed up in scattered ways with ineffective focus.

What this new routine gave me was a mental awareness of all my assets, allowing me to show up whole, complete and by extension, confident yet present.

Who are you? And how can you recall this prior to an important engagement?

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