Lawyers take note – our biggest flaw

Everything I coach I have personally needed to develop in – and to a degree, still need. Whether that is public speaking, interpersonal performance or intrapersonal behavior. So when I speak of our biggest flaw, I definitely include myself in the assertion.

We get in the way of ourselves far too often. Of all things, that’s our biggest flaw. I don’t care how old you are – I’m in my 50’s. I don’t care how educated you are, where you were raised, how many in your family or what your current professional responsibilities are. You and I still get in our own way and get ultra frustrated about it.

Is there anything we can do about this?
Yes, we can work on our ability to break down the barriers that hold us back, even when it’s ourselves.
You and I both know awareness is the key to learning and growth. Well let me start by saying our intrapersonal behaviors – our ability to manage the voice in our head that holds us back – tell us a lot about our ability to work on things independently or our need for others to educate and motivate us.

Our intrapersonal behaviors, especially for introverts, screw us up. Of the following list, which are you able to do well?

Effective Intrapersonal Behaviors

___ start the day with a supportive attitude

___ plan for your daily focus

___ handle distractions

___ exercise discipline

___ shift from negative emotions

___ affirm your value

___ focus on your strengths

___ take constructive criticism

___ follow through with promises made

___ know what to say YES to

___ say NO when appropriate
The key to our communication stems from our intrapersonal behaviors. The more checks you have in the above areas, the better you will be in coaching yourself in your communication with others. Without much growth in the above, interpersonal and public speaking suffers. It may not be our intention to flounder in our relationships, discipline or ability to speak well, yet that’s what happens when we avoid
developing our own system of self-management.
For lawyers this means not managing the day-to-day effectively, misunderstanding clients, miscommunicating with those in your firm, screwing up a sale, tipping the case to your opposing counsel or burning out early in your career.
Intrapersonal development must come from engaging the assistance of others. This development hinders countless professionals today, yet they haven’t yet learned to ask for help, not being willing to appear so vulnerable. Nevertheless, those who do ask gain incredible development, influence, energy and purpose. Let alone more clients, more wins, improved relationships and greater referrals.
Do you want an assessment of your own communication? Email me at for a $125 tool that will help you take next steps in your communication, including your biggest flaw.

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