Personal Attraction Tips

Today I began reading Tim Sander’s The L (Likeability) Factor, which has shaped my focus on all things attractive. In Sanders book he explains that prior to the printing of his book, little had been written on defining likeability or what attributes go into it.

There is no doubt in my mind that some people have much more power – whether charisma or other people-based attraction – to attract notice, to drive results as well as to stimulate relationship interest if they focus on their communication skills. From what I’ve experienced – mostly through others – I have come to the following conclusions about what helps us attract people to our lives, our cause or our thinking.

Tips in Personal Attraction
1. Smile with the eyes. Everything starts with the eyes, so when our smiles start there, people know we truly are being friendly, enthused and enjoying the moment. Smiles lift observers’ interest and soon quickly become contagious. Smiling when walking through the door to an interview, when talking on the phone and when giving a complement all serve to bring interest and attraction.

See Ron Gutman’s 7 minute presentation below on the power of smiling. It will be hard not to be attracted to what he has to say!

TED talk: Ron Gutman and the Hidden Power of Smiling

2. Help people talk about themselves. Most people like to hear themselves talk, so the more we let them do that, the more attractive we become. Even introverts enjoy sharing meaningful things about themselves, whether they feel they are bragging or not. Now and then we all like to feel credible, accomplished and/or talented. If asked, “What do you feel good about today?” how would you respond?

3. Pay attention to who you are with. When you’re meeting with someone, turn off the cell phone, close your laptop, turn off the email alarms, slow down your internal rhythms and simply pay attention. Doing this in front of them is a huge statement of, “I’m here for you.” Many of them may say, “Oh, you don’t have to turn that off.” That’s simply because it’s such an anomoly. Do it anyway. Now you have demonstrated respect, you’re on the road to building trust and there is nothing more you could do to more effectively Spend Time with them.

Share Button
On May 11th, 2011, posted in: communication skills, ron gutman, TED by