The Myth about Minding Your Own Business

“Don’t bother me”

“Solve your own problems”

“Don’t tell me what to do”

When I think of the phrase, Mind your own business, I recall hearing it on the playground when, after seeing someone cowering around a corner by themselves, approaching them to see if they were okay. The remark came from embarassment, maybe guilt, maybe the desire to be better than they were compared to others on the playground. In essence, although they used the phrase, Mind your own business, they really meant any of the 3 lines up above.

Sound familiar today? Yes. Playground memories quickly return when we’re feeling inadequate or under-appreciated in the work force. Especially from those of us who wish we were further along than we are. We resist advice from others, prefer to keep our door shut, stay in our cave (office, wired by our ear buds, connecting only through our computers, etc.) and try to look busy.

This is when we see the double-edged sword of minding our own business. We may crave alone time, time to figure out next steps, time to research or review or refuel. But alone time doesn’t help us handle problems we ruminate over. Alone time is a powerful avenue for reflection, for creativity and for rest, but alone time is not the answer to accomplishing confidence problems.

For relief from low self-esteem and conflict, we need perspective. This means connecting with those of like-minded, achievement-oriented folks, who, like us, want to resolve things and move forward. Instead of telling others to mind their own business, perspective-seeking means seeking the business of others, especially ideas in how they resolve similar conflicts. This perspective seeking concept is the nature of master-minding, something Napoleon Hill wrote about in Think and Grow Rich.

With a master mind group we have a place to take our concerns, issues and needs. We bring questions about self-manangement, about goal creation, about vendor needs, about teamwork issues, about professional development and about anything that restricts our progress. Because members of our master mind group have been there and done that we reach out to them to help us consider options and inform our decision-making. The members of our group bring similar questions to us as well. This group becomes our brainstorming center, the place to reframe our thinking, to affirm our ideas, to encourage and motivate our next steps. Likewise, this group is a place where we can share our experiences for the benefit of others who need to learn from us.

With this group we learn the truth about Minding Our Own Business – we can’t mind our own business and like our results. We need the views and experiences of others to keep us thinking, doing, growing and enjoying our efforts. When we reconnect with our master mind members, we do so with the hope that they can help us, and in doing so they are not bothering us. We want assistance in handling our problems. We want others to give us things to consider trying. We reach out to our master mind group because we have grown up from the playground days of competition and embarassment and instead desire the expert views of those like us.

Do you want to hamper your growth? Then mind your own business. If instead you want to keep doing what is important, timely, valuable and mission-focused, then reach out to a local master mind group. You will shift from minding your own business to Master-Minding it!

Individual communication coaching

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On January 20th, 2014, posted in: anxiety, asking for help, attitude, business, perspective by